🪄 Amethyst with Astigmatism: Professor Ditherstone
📚 Occupation: Former enchanted library curator, currently moonlighting as a crossword puzzle warlock.
👓 Special Feature: Glasses so thick they’ve seen into the Akashic Records by accident.
Meet Professor Ditherstone, the second officially licensed crystal academic in the "Amethysts with Astigmatism" department. With a crown of shimmering lilac druzy and a base carved by millennia of metaphysical overthinking, Ditherstone exudes the wisdom of someone who’s definitely read at least three dusty grimoires and a Reddit thread on quantum alchemy.
This anxious geode of insight specializes in:
✨ Hyperfocus on irrelevant details (Will absolutely remind you that Mercury isn’t technically retrograde—just “retroshade.”)
✨ Emotional support through unsolicited trivia
✨ Being surprisingly squishy on the topic of love spells
He comes equipped with vintage wire-frame spectacles that slide down his nose every 11 minutes (though he has no nose), and is always looking for a gentle hand to keep him grounded while he rants about energetic frequencies and proper crystal grid etiquette.
🌀 Ready to be adopted by a witch, wizard, or weary soul seeking comfort, clarity, and companionship in the form of a bespectacled chaos crystal.
🔮 Claim him before he spirals into another existential monologue about Saturn returns and oat milk.
🪄 Amethyst with Astigmatism: Professor Ditherstone
📚 Occupation: Former enchanted library curator, currently moonlighting as a crossword puzzle warlock.
👓 Special Feature: Glasses so thick they’ve seen into the Akashic Records by accident.
Meet Professor Ditherstone, the second officially licensed crystal academic in the "Amethysts with Astigmatism" department. With a crown of shimmering lilac druzy and a base carved by millennia of metaphysical overthinking, Ditherstone exudes the wisdom of someone who’s definitely read at least three dusty grimoires and a Reddit thread on quantum alchemy.
This anxious geode of insight specializes in:
✨ Hyperfocus on irrelevant details (Will absolutely remind you that Mercury isn’t technically retrograde—just “retroshade.”)
✨ Emotional support through unsolicited trivia
✨ Being surprisingly squishy on the topic of love spells
He comes equipped with vintage wire-frame spectacles that slide down his nose every 11 minutes (though he has no nose), and is always looking for a gentle hand to keep him grounded while he rants about energetic frequencies and proper crystal grid etiquette.
🌀 Ready to be adopted by a witch, wizard, or weary soul seeking comfort, clarity, and companionship in the form of a bespectacled chaos crystal.
🔮 Claim him before he spirals into another existential monologue about Saturn returns and oat milk.
